Why Is My Baby Fussy During Feeding?

A baby who cries, pulls away, squirms or seems unsettled during feeds can leave you wondering what you are doing wrong. Often, there is not one obvious explanation. Babies can become fussy because they are already very hungry, need a pause, are uncomfortable with their feeding position, are struggling with milk flow, need to burp or are experiencing something such as reflux.

Sometimes fussiness is simply brief and passes. At other times, repeated distress during feeds is worth discussing with your midwife, health visitor or GP.

Start by watching what happens before, during and after the feed. Your baby’s behaviour can give useful clues about whether they are hungry, overwhelmed by the flow of milk, uncomfortable or ready to stop.

What does fussy feeding look like?

Fussiness can mean different things for different babies.

You may notice your baby:

crying when offered the breast or bottle
pulling away and then immediately trying to feed again
arching their back
turning their head away
becoming tense or wriggly
coughing or spluttering
spilling milk from their mouth
repeatedly coming off the breast
pushing the bottle away
feeding calmly at first and then becoming upset

One unsettled feed does not necessarily mean there is a problem.

Babies can have feeds that feel completely different from one another. What matters more is whether the behaviour keeps happening and whether your baby is otherwise feeding effectively, producing enough wet nappies and gaining weight as expected.

Your baby may already be very hungry

Crying is a late hunger cue.

The NHS recommends responding to earlier signs where possible. These can include sucking hands or fingers, moving the head and mouth around, rooting and becoming restless.

A baby who has reached the point of crying may find it harder to settle and coordinate feeding.

If you notice early hunger cues, offering a feed before your baby becomes very upset may help.

This does not mean you will always catch the perfect moment. Babies do not follow a script, and newborn cues can be difficult to interpret.

If your baby is already crying, try holding and calming them before attempting the feed again.

They may need a break

Babies do not necessarily drink continuously from the beginning of a feed to the end.

They may pause, rest and then begin sucking again.

This is particularly important during bottle feeding. NHS responsive feeding guidance advises watching your baby for signs that they need a break.

Your baby might stop sucking, turn their head away, push the bottle away, spread their fingers or toes, or allow milk to spill from their mouth.

If that happens, pause the feed rather than encouraging them to continue.

Your baby may restart once they are ready, or they may have had enough.

Check the bottle feeding position

Position can make a noticeable difference to how comfortably a baby bottle feeds.

The NHS recommends holding your baby close in a semi-upright position, supporting their head so they can breathe and swallow comfortably.

Keep the bottle almost horizontal, with only a slight tip.

This helps prevent milk from flowing too quickly and gives your baby more control over the feed.

Do not bottle feed your baby while they are lying flat on their back, and never leave them alone with a propped bottle.

If your baby regularly becomes upset during bottle feeds, checking your position and the way you hold the bottle is a useful first step.

Milk may be flowing too quickly

A fast milk flow can make feeding difficult.

During bottle feeding, holding the bottle too steeply can cause milk to flow faster than your baby can comfortably manage.

Keeping it almost horizontal allows milk to flow more steadily.

Watch for signs that your baby needs the flow to stop. Coughing, spluttering, spilling milk or repeatedly pulling away can all be reasons to pause and assess what is happening.

Breastfeeding parents can experience a strong let-down too. The NHS notes that occasionally the let-down reflex can be strong enough to make a baby cough and splutter.

If this keeps happening during breastfeeding, ask your midwife, health visitor or breastfeeding supporter for help.

The teat may need checking

Bottle teats come in different flow rates, and babies vary in how they manage them.

If your baby appears overwhelmed by the milk, repeatedly coughs, gulps, splutters or spills milk, check that the bottle is being held almost horizontally and that the teat is suitable for your baby.

If the teat becomes flattened during a feed, NHS guidance suggests gently pulling at the corner of your baby’s mouth to release the vacuum.

A blocked teat should be replaced with another sterile teat.

Do not enlarge the hole yourself.

If you are unsure about teat flow, ask your health visitor to observe a feed rather than repeatedly changing products without knowing what is causing the difficulty.

Breastfeeding attachment may be uncomfortable

If your baby becomes frustrated at the breast, repeatedly comes off or seems unable to settle into rhythmic sucking, positioning and attachment are worth checking.

The NHS recommends keeping your baby’s head and body in a straight line, holding them close and supporting their neck, shoulders and back.

Once attached effectively, you should usually see your baby move from quick initial sucks to longer, rhythmic sucks and swallows.

Their cheeks should stay rounded rather than becoming hollow.

Breastfeeding should not remain persistently painful.

If feeding hurts, your nipples are becoming damaged or your baby struggles to stay attached, ask a midwife, health visitor or breastfeeding supporter to watch a complete feed.

A strong let-down can make a baby pull away

Breast milk does not always flow at exactly the same pace throughout a feed.

At the beginning, your baby may use quick sucks to stimulate milk flow. Once the let-down reflex happens, the milk begins to flow more strongly.

The NHS notes that a particularly strong let-down can sometimes make a baby cough or splutter.

A baby may respond by pulling away, pausing or becoming briefly unsettled.

If this happens regularly, professional breastfeeding support can help you find a position or approach that works better for you and your baby.

You do not need to stop breastfeeding simply because the flow sometimes feels difficult to manage.

Your baby may need to burp

Some babies need short breaks during feeds and may need to burp.

If your baby becomes uncomfortable partway through a feed, pause and hold them upright.

The NHS suggests gently rubbing or patting your baby’s back to bring up any wind.

Not every baby will burp every time, and you do not need to spend a long time trying to produce one.

If your baby seems comfortable, you can continue the feed when they are ready.

If fussiness repeatedly appears during or after feeds, however, consider whether something else may be contributing.

Could it be reflux?

Reflux is when some stomach contents come back up towards the food pipe or mouth.

It is common in babies, and many babies who bring up milk are otherwise healthy and growing normally.

Some babies with reflux may seem uncomfortable during or after feeds.

NHS guidance recommends speaking to a health visitor, pharmacist or GP if your baby has difficulty feeding or refuses to feed, regularly brings milk back up and seems uncomfortable afterwards.

Holding your baby upright during feeding and for a period afterwards may help with reflux.

Your baby should still sleep flat on their back. Do not raise the head of their cot or Moses basket.

What about colic?

Colic is often mentioned whenever a young baby cries a lot, but crying during a feed does not automatically mean your baby has colic.

Babies cry for many reasons.

The NHS suggests checking simple possibilities such as hunger, a wet or dirty nappy, wind, constipation, being too hot or cold, boredom or overstimulation.

If your baby tends to cry during or after feeds, reflux may also need to be considered.

Rather than trying to diagnose colic yourself, look at the pattern and discuss persistent crying with your health visitor or GP.

Keeping a brief note of when the crying happens and what feeds are like can make that conversation easier.

Your baby may be overstimulated or tired

Feeding is easier for some babies when the environment is relatively calm.

A tired baby may want milk but struggle to settle into feeding.

Noise, bright lights, lots of handling or repeatedly switching feeding positions may sometimes make an already unsettled baby more frustrated.

If your baby seems overwhelmed, try reducing distractions and holding them close for a moment before offering the feed again.

Skin-to-skin contact can also be calming and may help you notice feeding cues.

You do not need a perfectly silent room for every feed. The aim is simply to make feeding comfortable enough for your baby to concentrate.

Your baby may actually be finished

Fussiness does not always mean “I want more milk.”

Sometimes it means the opposite.

During responsive bottle feeding, babies may stop sucking, turn away, push the bottle away, spill milk or become unsettled when they need a break or have had enough.

Do not force your baby to finish the bottle.

Breastfed babies also have individual feed lengths. Some take shorter feeds and others feed for longer.

If your baby has been actively swallowing and then becomes restless or pulls away, give them a moment rather than immediately trying to make them continue.

Watch what they do next.

Why does my baby latch, pull away and cry?

This pattern can be particularly confusing because your baby appears hungry but then becomes upset as soon as feeding begins.

There are several possibilities.

A breastfeeding baby may be struggling with positioning or attachment, reacting to a strong milk flow or becoming frustrated if milk is not transferring effectively.

A bottle-fed baby may need a slower pace, a break, a different position or help with a teat that has flattened or become blocked.

Your baby may also be uncomfortable for another reason unrelated to the feeding equipment.

If the pattern happens repeatedly, asking a professional to observe a feed can be much more useful than trying a long list of different bottles, teats or feeding tricks.

Could tongue-tie cause unsettled feeding?

Tongue-tie can affect feeding for some babies, but not every baby with tongue-tie has feeding problems.

The NHS says possible signs can include difficulty attaching to the breast or staying attached for a full feed, feeding for a long time and then wanting to feed again soon, being unsettled and appearing hungry frequently, slower weight gain or making a clicking sound while feeding.

These signs can have other explanations too.

Do not try to diagnose tongue-tie based on fussiness alone.

If you are concerned about your baby’s latch or feeding effectiveness, speak to your midwife, health visitor or another qualified professional who can assess the whole feed.

Keep track of the pattern if you are worried

You do not need to document every feed.

However, if fussiness is becoming a regular problem, a simple record can help you notice patterns.

You might note:

whether the fussiness happens at the start, middle or end of feeds
whether it happens with every feed or only some
whether your baby coughs, splutters or brings milk back up
how often your baby feeds
whether the problem is different at particular times of day
whether your baby seems uncomfortable after feeds

NHS reflux guidance specifically suggests keeping a record of feeding, bringing milk up and crying if reflux is a concern.

Share the pattern with your health visitor or GP rather than using it to diagnose the problem yourself.

Check that your baby is getting enough milk

If your baby is frequently fussy during feeds, it is sensible to consider whether feeding is still effective overall.

For breastfeeding, the NHS says signs of effective feeding include longer rhythmic sucks and swallows, rounded cheeks, a baby who seems calm during feeds and appears satisfied after most feeds.

After the first few days, a breastfed baby should generally have at least six wet nappies a day.

For bottle-fed babies, weight gain and wet and dirty nappies also help show whether they are getting enough milk.

If your baby is unsettled during or after feeds and you are worried about their weight or milk intake, contact your midwife or health visitor.

When to get professional advice

Speak to your midwife, health visitor, GP or another qualified healthcare professional if your baby is regularly distressed during feeding, repeatedly refuses feeds or you are worried that they are not getting enough milk.

Ask for help if your baby repeatedly coughs, splutters or struggles to suck or swallow, regularly brings milk back up and seems uncomfortable, has fewer wet nappies than expected or is not gaining weight as expected.

If you are breastfeeding, seek support if feeding is persistently painful, your nipples are damaged, your baby struggles to attach or stay attached, or you rarely see or hear effective swallowing.

If your baby was born prematurely or has a medical condition, known feeding difficulty or swallowing problem, follow the individual advice from their healthcare team.

Seek urgent medical help if your baby has difficulty breathing, becomes unresponsive, is choking or appears seriously unwell.