Sex during pregnancy

For most people with an uncomplicated pregnancy, sex is considered safe. Penetrative sex does not reach the baby, and having sex or an orgasm is not thought to harm a healthy pregnancy.

There are situations where a midwife or doctor may advise avoiding sex or certain types of sexual activity. Bleeding, waters breaking and some pregnancy complications can change the advice, so personalised guidance matters if anything about your pregnancy makes you unsure.

It is also completely reasonable not to want sex. Pregnancy can change desire, comfort and how you feel about intimacy, and there is no amount of sex you are expected to have.

Is sex safe during pregnancy?

Tommy’s states that sex during pregnancy is generally safe unless a healthcare professional has advised you otherwise.

The developing baby is protected inside the uterus, and penetrative sex does not reach the baby. In an uncomplicated pregnancy, sex itself is not considered harmful.

Your individual circumstances still matter. A doctor or midwife may recommend avoiding sex if there is a particular concern or complication. If you have been given pregnancy-specific advice, follow that rather than general guidance.

You can also ask exactly what the advice means. Being told to avoid penetrative sex, for example, does not automatically answer questions about orgasm, oral sex or sex toys. Your maternity team can clarify what is appropriate for your situation.

Can sex cause miscarriage?

Sex is not considered a cause of miscarriage in an uncomplicated pregnancy.

Tommy’s explains that having sex during pregnancy does not cause miscarriage. Most miscarriages happen because a pregnancy is not developing as expected, rather than because of ordinary sexual activity.

This can be an especially sensitive worry after a previous pregnancy loss. If anxiety about sex is affecting you, you can discuss it with your midwife or doctor. They can explain whether there is anything about your current pregnancy that changes the usual advice.

You never need to have sex simply because you have been told it is medically safe. Feeling emotionally comfortable matters too.

Can pregnancy change your sex drive?

Yes. You may want sex more often, less often or not at all, and those feelings can change throughout pregnancy.

Pregnancy symptoms and physical changes can affect desire. Sickness, tiredness, tender breasts, pelvic discomfort and changes in how you feel about your body can all influence whether sex appeals to you. Hormonal changes may also affect libido.

Some people enjoy sex more during pregnancy. Others lose interest completely for a while. Neither response means anything is wrong with your relationship or your pregnancy.

Intimacy does not have to mean penetrative sex either. Affection, kissing, massage, cuddling or simply spending time close together may feel more comfortable.

Can sex feel different while pregnant?

It can.

Physical changes during pregnancy may make positions that once felt comfortable less appealing. Tommy’s suggests trying different positions and communicating about what feels comfortable. Side-by-side positions may work better for some people as pregnancy progresses.

Vaginal dryness can also make penetrative sex uncomfortable for some people. Tommy’s notes that water-based lubricant can help with dryness.

Pain should not simply be something you tolerate. If sex hurts, stop and speak to your midwife, GP or maternity team if the pain continues or concerns you.

Comfort and consent can change from one occasion to the next. It is fine to change your mind at any point.

Is orgasm safe during pregnancy?

Tommy’s says orgasm is thought to be safe during pregnancy unless your healthcare professional has advised otherwise.

Later in pregnancy, sex or orgasm can sometimes cause Braxton Hicks contractions, where the muscles of the womb tighten. These are not the same as labour contractions.

If contractions are painful, persistent, regular or worrying, contact your maternity team rather than assuming they are related only to sex.

If you have already been advised to avoid sex, ask your doctor or midwife whether that advice also applies to orgasm.

Can you have oral sex during pregnancy?

Tommy’s advises that oral sex is generally safe during pregnancy, with some precautions around infections.

Cold sores are caused by herpes simplex virus, which can also cause genital herpes. Tommy’s advises avoiding oral sex if you or the person you are having sex with has cold sores because the virus can be passed to the genital area.

Sexually transmitted infections can also be passed through sexual contact. Condoms or other barrier methods may be advised depending on the type of sexual activity and STI risk.

If you think you may have been exposed to an STI, speak to your midwife, GP or sexual health service for testing and advice.

Can you use sex toys during pregnancy?

Tommy’s states that sex toys are generally safe during pregnancy unless a doctor or midwife has told you not to use them.

Keeping sex toys clean helps reduce the risk of infection. Tommy’s also recommends washing shared toys after each use and using a new condom on them each time they are shared.

If you have been told to avoid sex, do not assume that sex toys are automatically safe. Ask your maternity team whether the restriction includes vaginal penetration, orgasm or sex toy use.

When might you be advised not to have sex?

Advice depends on your individual pregnancy.

You should avoid sex after your waters have broken because this can increase the risk of infection. Tommy’s advises contacting your maternity unit if you think your waters may have broken.

Bleeding also needs assessment. The NHS explains that changes to the cervix during pregnancy can sometimes cause bleeding after sex, but vaginal bleeding can have several other causes. Tommy’s advises contacting your GP or maternity unit about any vaginal bleeding or spotting and avoiding sex until you have been checked.

Some placental complications can also affect the advice you receive. RCOG notes that placenta praevia can cause bleeding, including after sex. If you have a low-lying placenta or another pregnancy complication, ask your maternity team whether you need to make any changes to sexual activity.

Can sex start labour?

There is no good evidence that having sex will start labour.

Tommy’s states that research has not shown sex to be an effective way to bring on labour.

Later in pregnancy, orgasm can cause temporary tightening of the womb, but this does not mean labour has begun.

If you think you may be in labour, or you are experiencing contractions that are becoming regular, contact your midwife or maternity unit for advice.

What if you do not want sex during pregnancy?

You do not need a medical reason to say no to sex.

Pregnancy can bring physical discomfort, tiredness, anxiety, changes in body image or simply a different level of sexual interest. Desire may also change several times during the pregnancy.

If you are intimate with another person, clear communication can help. You can talk about what feels comfortable, what does not and whether other forms of closeness feel better.

Consent remains essential during pregnancy. Being in a relationship, having previously wanted sex or having enjoyed a particular activity before does not create an obligation to continue.

When to get professional advice

Contact your midwife, GP or maternity unit if you experience vaginal bleeding or spotting during pregnancy. The NHS notes that bleeding after sex can sometimes happen because of changes to the cervix, but bleeding has several possible causes and should be assessed.

Contact your maternity unit straight away if you think your waters have broken. Sex should be avoided after your waters break because of the increased risk of infection.

Seek advice if sex causes persistent or significant pain, or if you develop symptoms that concern you. If you have been diagnosed with a low-lying placenta, placenta praevia or another pregnancy complication, ask your maternity team whether there are any restrictions on sexual activity.

If you have heavy bleeding or feel seriously unwell, seek urgent medical help. Call 999 in an emergency. If you are unsure where to get help and cannot reach your maternity service, NHS 111 can advise you.